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The multiverse. Infinite universes existing all at once with every possible eventuality that could ever occur as a result of the physical laws of nature, occurring in parallel.
It’s the intoxicating scientific theory that formed the basis for Bioshock Infinite’s sci-fi premise earlier this year, but it also presents some interesting possibilities for the biggest videogame expo of the year.
Somewhere, in a universe far away, very close, maybe even in the very same co-ordinates that the atoms constituting your fleshy mass currently reside, the good, the great and the not so great of the videogame industry will gather in the LA convention center, and Geoff Keighley will don his finest blazer-jeans combo for that most glorious of gaming events, E3.
We here at Thunderbolt have ripped a tear in the fabric of space-time to give you a sneak peak at some of the biggest, wildest, and downright absurd announcements soon to happen in a number of universes that you will never exist in. These are our craziest E3 2013 announcements from around the multiverse:
The Sega Starfish announced
Universe: The topsy-turvy universe
Following on from their massive success with the Sega Fruitbat, Sega have unveiled their five pronged next-generation console, the Starfish. Continuing Sega’s animal kingdom console theme, which started with the Silkworm back in 1998, the Starfish is said to possess five times the graphical processing power of the Fruitbat.
The name ‘Starfish’ refers to the five core videogame consumer markets that Sega’s console is aimed at: men, dogs, men who like guns, men who like swords and men who like swords, guns and dogs. The console’s most significant selling point is a tablet-style touchpad, which Sega have admitted does present some significant challenges with regards to developing new gameplay, stating that they “haven’t actually got a clue how to integrate it into gaming experiences as of yet”. The most-successful console manufacturer of all time did, however, stress that their R&D department are working on some exciting HUD migration features, whereby all of the important metrics and statistics gamers have conveniently tracked on the same screen of play in the past will be transferred onto this secondary screen, increasing the time it takes to view them.
Flagship titles for the Starfish include several variations on the Sonic franchise, a revival of James Pond, with Benedict Cumberbatch lending his voice to the underwater agent, and a series of first, second and third person shooters.
The biggest surprise of the conference was an announcement that Sega will be entering into a partnership with one-time rival console manufacturer Nintendo to publish a series of Super Mario ‘Galaxy’ games on the Starfish, styled after Sega’s own successful Sonic Galaxy titles.